You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
