My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
