haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
