whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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