and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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