Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
