You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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