i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
