Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
from now on my penis is your penis
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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