Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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