Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize