I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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