Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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