no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
