Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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