I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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