take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
