I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
