is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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