So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
