You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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