I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
