Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
