Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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