she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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