Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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