I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im holly from the hills drunk
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
