so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
