There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
