dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
