So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
