The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
just tell him i said nine months
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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