Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
