So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
