turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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