I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
