she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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