also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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