eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
