i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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