Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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