YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
