I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just googled if crying burns calories
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize