The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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