I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize