We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
