scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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