I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
