Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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