Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize