what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
