So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
