you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
