so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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