i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
