He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize