The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it glows. i had to have it.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
