I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
