This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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