no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
