Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
