Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
